Emotional side effects of verbal domestic abuse

by Bridget Webber

Created on: April 04, 2011

The emotional side effects of verbal domestic abuse stem from a lack of self esteem. As an individual is bullied and abused they begin to lose confidence, and question their ability to make decisions and carry out simple tasks. Domestic verbal abuse may not show on the victims body, but inside their emotions becomes scrambled, making them nervous and insecure.

Domestic abuse of this kind takes place within the home. The four walls of someone’s house can hold, and hide, a great deal of anxiety and emotional trauma, as they wrestle with confusion about why they are being abused, and consider what they can do to alter things.

Victims of verbal abuse look first to themselves as the problem, rather than at their abuser. They are more likely to try and alter aspects of themselves in order to seek positive change than to criticise the individual who is the real cause of their low self esteem.

If an emotional abuser has problems a victim is likely to consider that they should help them overcome them, and that this will, in turn, stop the abuse. This can make them dedicate a great deal of time and effort to looking after the abuser, at the expense of taking care of their own needs.

When an individual suffers from domestic verbal abuse they may begin to lose their individuality in favour of their abusive partner, parent, or adult child. They may take on their taste and opinions, as they no-longer have confidence in their own. They may also spent a lot of emotional energy constructing ways of behaving which is least likely to cause offence to their abuser or rattle them.

Giving to their abuser becomes a major side effect, as the individual becomes more and more fearful of the potential repercussions for having a different opinion than the abuser, or saying anything which may ignite a bad mood. Life revolves around taking care of an abusers needs, and avoiding their wrath.

Verbal abusers tend to put down their victims in order to keep them in their place. They belittle their efforts to shine, and make light of their achievements. They attempt to alienate them from friends and family so that they don’t have an adequate support network. This leaves the abuser with more control.

The effect of such behaviour on their victim is that they become isolated, and get little positive feedback from other people or helpful advice. They also begin to doubt their ability to be good at anything, and may let talents slide in favour of tip toeing around their abuser and attempting to lead a quiet life.

The emotional side effects of verbal domestic abuse are not always apparent to outsiders. It is in private, or within the family home that most abuse takes place. This makes reaching out to other people difficult, as making them aware of the situation can be hard.

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