Kids Are Also The Victims of Domestic Violence
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This story really touched my heart, as well as made me cry for what this child has gone through in his short years, as so many do. It really hurts to think a child can carry around so much pain, fear, and anger, and keep it inside, not knowing it is ok to feel them! The innocence of a child lost because of someone's anger and inability to control themselves.
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I thank places like Safe House Denver for taking this head on, and helping to heal the victims of domestic violence. Last year Safe House Denver was able to help hundreds of women and children, unfortunately having to turn away children like Martin, over 1,400 request for shelter last year because beds were full.
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Martin was only 11 years old when he first started going to Safe House for individual counseling. He wouldn't make eye contact with his children's advocate, and he was only able to talk about what had happened for 15 minutes before he began to look physically sick.
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You see, his Father had been abusive towards his Mother for some time. One night last winter, he woke up to his Father beating his Mother in his bedroom. Martin was shoved up against his dresser, and then hit by his Father, who then taunted him for not being able to stop the violence. Martin's Father took out a knife and threatened to kill them both. Martin and his Mother was able to escape through distraction, they ran out the front door. Thankfully, the neighbors saw what was going on, and called 911, prompting the abuser to flee.
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Unfortunately, stories such as these, and worse, happen daily. I don't want to remember how many times I've heard that DV does NOT affect children!!! Have they talked to the children who have lived through it? Have they witnessed for themselves the emotinoal scares from seeing and hearing their Mother or sibling being beaten? Doesn't the experts say that many of those encarcerated were either abused as a child, or witnessed abuse? Until the children are fully protected, until it is understood that these emotional scares will stay with these children forever, we have not made as large of strides that some would think. Much more needs to be done, children like Martin shouldn't have to live with the pain.
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Children who grow up in violent homes are more likely to exhibit behavioral and health problems; to abuse drugs or alcohol; and to run away from home. They are up to 15 times more likely to be physically abused and neglected. They are more likely to become abusers or victims themselves.
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Thankfully Martins' Mother started getting counseling at Safe House, bringing Martin along to receive counceling through the Children's program. This was a start towards their healing, and now Martin is a group leader, and can smile again............
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Without the counceling, without the help that so many shelters give, victims like these wouldn't stand a chance. Many would have to go back to their abusers, the 1,400 that had to be turned away I can only dread what they had to go through, alone. While some can make it alone, many more need the support that is hard pressed to give. Too often it is looked at as a family matter, not a social tragedy. Too often people turn their heads, turn up the tv, or just pretend they don't hear anything. Saying it isn't any of their business. Now, pretend it is your daughter and your grandchild being beaten behind those sounds that you hear, behind the hand that is hurting them. Behind the voice that is yelling at them, scaring them, degrading them. Wouldn't you do something to stop it? Well, they are someone's child, someones grandchild, and I'm sure they would if given the chance, but unfortunately domestic violence is usually done behind closed doors. Domestic Violence usually escalates when the abuser feels that no-one is going to stop him.
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What will it take? What will it take for you to help?
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Martin's stepfather had been abusive to his mother for some time. One night last winter, Martin went to bed after dinner thinking there was nothing wrong. He woke up a short time later to find his stepfather beating his mother in his bedroom. His stepfather shoved him against the dresser and hit him as well. He taunted Martin for not stopping the violence. He took out a knife and threatened to kill them both. In a brief moment of distraction, Martin and his mother were able to run out the front door. When the neighbors saw what was going on, they called 911, prompting the abuser to flee.*
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